Clever Title

For 6 weeks the BP oil rig that was destroyed has been spewing crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico- similar to a fat kid with the stomach flu after thanksgiving. Efforts to stop the leak have included a big dome, shoving trash and mud into the pipe and more recently submarine robots with diamond tipped saw blades(they had to so something with the left over battle bots). These robots didn’t seem to work as the saw became stuck half way through (I think some one forgot to oil it.) According to the Associated Press “The next chance to stop the flow won't come until two relief wells meant to plug the reservoir for good are finished in August.”

By leak I do not liken the term to when your yellow Super Soaker 100 you had as a kid leaked, but rather, the geyser old faithful with out any stopping involved. The estimated amount of oil spilling into the Gulf is 500,000 - 4,200,000 gallons per day, this is just under the combined amount of alcohol that Gary Busey and Lindsay Lohan consume each day. This spill is estimated to cover 2,500 square miles of the ocean.

I believe that with the amount of money that BP is going to spend in cleaning up this mess they might as well just start throwing 100 dollar bills in the ocean to soak up the oil. It is just an idea. I do know this much, I will be investing in fish and coastal lots of land along the Gulf. With the amount of oil we will be able to squeeze out of those things we will be able to buy Canada, dig it up and dump it into the Gulf to bury the whole mess. We can then use beaver pelts to soak up any extra oil that is left over just to piss off PETA.